I saw an article on my MSN.com homepage today about how a 12 year old girl committed suicide this summer because she was being relentlessly bullied by her classmates. The young victim was bullied in person, as well as through social media. Things like this are happening all across the country and most of the time, it starts in the classroom. I know this, because (as a teacher) I've witnessed it....more than once. Many times it starts innocently enough when one friend teases another over a bad grade on a test or some sort of poor fashion choice. However, these small comments can quickly turn into a torturous, downward spiral that cause many to choose a quick death over a unbearable life.
Parents put their trust in the teachers, coaches, and administrators within their child's school to protect them from violence. There are procedures in place for every type of horrible thing that could happen in a school. There are fire and tornado drills. There are drills so that students know what to do if there is an intruder or if the school should need to evacuate. Most schools even require their faculty to be certified in CPR and First Aid so that any staff member can assist in an emergency. And yes, there are even programs that schools can invest in to help prevent bullying.
The school that I worked at invested in a program called Olweus. This curriculum required each teacher to teach their students about bullying. It focused on what it meant to be a bully, a bystander, and the person being bullied, as well as what to do if you were being bullied or saw someone being bullied. The information provided literally took 15-20 minutes to go over with our kids. However, at first, our school wanted us to conduct a 30 minute bullying class with our students once a week and we were responsible for coming up with what to tell our kids. All we had to do was keep a "Olweus log" that documented what our lessons were about. Now, this might have been okay if we had someone who came in to walk us through what type of lessons could actually reach the kids, but his was not the case. The only advice we received was to put our kids in circle and get them talking. Its like they wanted us to conduct an AA meeting or something. "Hello, my name is Billy and I'm a bully". That was never going to happen. Its hard enough to get kids to talk to adults about things they are interested in , let alone trying to force them to talk about their feelings and someone bullying them...IN FRONT OF THEIR ENTIRE CLASS AND TEACHER!!! Nark and Snitch are words we heard a lot. They were not going to tell on someone for bullying because they were not going to be the ones to get someone in trouble and the kids who were actually being bullied weren't going to talk because they were too afraid. The students hated the Olweus program and so did the teachers.
So, what ended up happening was teachers would find some YouTube video or an old episode of Boy Meets World or Andy Griffith that taught some kind of moral lesson and we would play it for our kids. If the kids weren't going to talk, we were at least going to make them watch something that showed them what it was like to be a good person. Needless to say most programs to prevent bullying are flawed and do not work.
Another thing that schools do are incident or bullying reports. The way we did this is that we would report any issues to our guidance counselor who was responsible for working with the administration (and authorities if necessary) to reach a solution and help anyone who felt like they were being targeted. This doesn't work either.
Teaching at a middle school, I saw bullying on a daily basis. We would report incidents over and over again and 9.9999% of the time, the bully would be back in class if not within minutes, then almost for sure by the next day. Some times the guidance personnel would deem the situation as "not bullying", as if that was their choice to make. Other times kids would be put into "time out" to think about their actions. Some times, the students who were reported as bullies would be fed a lunch a bbq and soda so that the administration could "gain their trust" and get to the bottom of the students' actions. Most of the time this would result in the kid telling some made up load of bull about how it was "just a joke" or "I didn't know I was hurting anyone" and they would be sent back to class with a full belly and a smile on their face, free to repeat their same crime tomorrow.
I'm sorry parents, truly I am. Your school systems are failing you and failing your children. Most of the time even though teachers are doing what they should and reporting issues to their administration, little is done. Principles want to protect their jobs and they do not want their school to be seen as the place where kids are constantly being picked on or teased. So, they don't do what they should and call parents, expel students, or make reports to the authorities. So, this is my advice to you as parents. Listen to your kids. Take everything they say to heart, no matter how minor it may seem to you. Remember that they are children and their psyche is so much more fragile than that of an adult. Something that may seem minor to you could feel like the end of their world. If they tell you something is happening believe them. I know that kids lie, but its better to be safe than sorry. Call their teachers and their principles and if nothing happens; go to the school. Stand in the halls without anyone knowing who you are and watch how other children are treating yours. Talk to their friends. Don't back down until the issue stops. And, if it doesn't stop; call the authorities, press charges, change your kid to a different school. Do whatever it takes to save your child!!!
Many of the young people in our country are literally being bullied to death. Put your trust in child's school, but not all of your trust. It is good to be skeptical and to ask questions. You could save your child's life and that's the decent truth.
Wednesday, August 2, 2017
Friday, July 28, 2017
Why I was FORCED to quit a job that I loved
Two months ago, I was a teacher at a public middle school. I was good at my job, like really good. My kids, their parents, and my colleagues loved (still love) me. And, I loved (love) them more than words can express. I had only taught there for two years, but I already had a reputation and I didn't mind the things that were said about me. However, for most of this past school year; I had a horrible feeling in the bit of my stomach that my administration was not going to ask me to come back this next year. I kept telling my colleagues that I was closest to that I was going to be fired at the end of the term. They just kept telling me that I was crazy and that I was such a great teacher and that would never happen. But, I knew. I knew it was coming.
The first sign was about three months into school when I was placed on a PIP (Profession Improvement Plan). My administration said that they were placing me on this plan because of something that had happened in my classroom a couple of weeks prior. What had happened was two boys had gotten into a shoving match as we were lining up to leave for the day. There were 3 other teachers in the classroom besides myself and there was nothing that any of us could have done to prevent it from happening. However, I went above and beyond protocol by taking the boys aside and talking to them separately about what had happened, reporting the incident to the office, and by calling the parents and explain it to them. The boys made up, the parents understood, and the next thing I know; I'm put on a PIP. As part of the PIP, I had to observe three other teachers and write an essay about their classroom management skills. I also had to meet with the administration every month to talk about my progress. I did this, without argument. When I emailed my essays to my principle, I even got an email saying that I had done a good job. Every meeting I had with them even went well as far as I could tell. However, I still felt uneasy.
The second sign that things weren't going well was that my observations that I was getting from my administrators were not great either. They would come and watch me teach and when they left I would think to myself, "Yes, nailed it". Then, I would get their comments and be completely floored. It just did not make sense. My kids were learning, they were attentive in class, I had every required, common core ,state hoop jumping through nonsense posted in my room and they still were not happy.
Someone once told me that a teacher should keep and document everything. I did this and when I started to figure out that my job was not safe; I began to do it more. I saved every email, assignment, hall pass, and proof of everything that I did for the whole year, but it didn't matter.
The final sign that I wouldn't be teaching at my school any longer came the last few weeks of school. We started getting our year end evaluations. Everyone was talking about theirs, everyone but me. I was the last person in the building to get theirs. They literally gave me as little of time as possible to respond as possible. So, I finally get my evaluation and it is ridiculous how untrue and off-point it was. I immediately respond via email to my administration and they tell me to bring any proof that I have my year end meeting with them. So, I get all my proof together. I take my plan book, emails, letters from parents and students thanking me for teaching, lesson plans, and the list goes on. I am ready for that meeting.
So, I wait...and wait....and wait some more. I wait 4 days to get called in for this meeting. Finally, at 3 o'clock (quitting time) on the last day of school I get asked into the office. By now, I know without a doubt that it isn't good. I even tell me friend on my way to the meeting, "see you later, I'm going to get fired." So, I get in there and sit down with my stack of documentation and the principle looks as me and tells me how sorry he is for making me wait so long and how he thinks so much of me, but he isn't going to ask me back for next school year. By now, I have accepted this because I knew what was coming, but I still want to know his reasoning. So, I ask him why. His response was, "We just want to go in a different direction". To which I say, "So, this documentation and all of this proof about how I actually do I good job doesn't matter. You aren't even going to look at it?" He says no that the choice has already been made. But, as a favor he is letting me resign so that it looks better for me.
So, I do resign. I quit a job that I love and that I am amazing at and for what? Do you want to know why? Because I actually do know why even though he wouldn't tell me. I was FORCED to quit a job that I love because my school needed a basketball coach and the guy that they wanted needed a teaching position. And he teaches what I do. So, the "different direction" they decided to go in was to choose athletics over education and to do it in a very dirty way.
I'm not surprised that they wanted to fire me to get a coach. That happens all of the time in small town America where sports shut down the entire town on a Friday night, but its how it was done that pisses me off so much. The PIP and the bad observations were lies and they could follow me for the rest of my career. That is horrible. Thankfully, I do live in a small town and I was good at what I do because I know that the people who know me will back me up as I begin to look for a new position, but it takes a really horrible person to potentially ruin someone's life in order to get a basketball coach and that's the Decent Truth. I am just glad that my kids, their parents, and my fellow teachers still love and respect me because that means the world to me.
The first sign was about three months into school when I was placed on a PIP (Profession Improvement Plan). My administration said that they were placing me on this plan because of something that had happened in my classroom a couple of weeks prior. What had happened was two boys had gotten into a shoving match as we were lining up to leave for the day. There were 3 other teachers in the classroom besides myself and there was nothing that any of us could have done to prevent it from happening. However, I went above and beyond protocol by taking the boys aside and talking to them separately about what had happened, reporting the incident to the office, and by calling the parents and explain it to them. The boys made up, the parents understood, and the next thing I know; I'm put on a PIP. As part of the PIP, I had to observe three other teachers and write an essay about their classroom management skills. I also had to meet with the administration every month to talk about my progress. I did this, without argument. When I emailed my essays to my principle, I even got an email saying that I had done a good job. Every meeting I had with them even went well as far as I could tell. However, I still felt uneasy.
The second sign that things weren't going well was that my observations that I was getting from my administrators were not great either. They would come and watch me teach and when they left I would think to myself, "Yes, nailed it". Then, I would get their comments and be completely floored. It just did not make sense. My kids were learning, they were attentive in class, I had every required, common core ,state hoop jumping through nonsense posted in my room and they still were not happy.
Someone once told me that a teacher should keep and document everything. I did this and when I started to figure out that my job was not safe; I began to do it more. I saved every email, assignment, hall pass, and proof of everything that I did for the whole year, but it didn't matter.
The final sign that I wouldn't be teaching at my school any longer came the last few weeks of school. We started getting our year end evaluations. Everyone was talking about theirs, everyone but me. I was the last person in the building to get theirs. They literally gave me as little of time as possible to respond as possible. So, I finally get my evaluation and it is ridiculous how untrue and off-point it was. I immediately respond via email to my administration and they tell me to bring any proof that I have my year end meeting with them. So, I get all my proof together. I take my plan book, emails, letters from parents and students thanking me for teaching, lesson plans, and the list goes on. I am ready for that meeting.
So, I wait...and wait....and wait some more. I wait 4 days to get called in for this meeting. Finally, at 3 o'clock (quitting time) on the last day of school I get asked into the office. By now, I know without a doubt that it isn't good. I even tell me friend on my way to the meeting, "see you later, I'm going to get fired." So, I get in there and sit down with my stack of documentation and the principle looks as me and tells me how sorry he is for making me wait so long and how he thinks so much of me, but he isn't going to ask me back for next school year. By now, I have accepted this because I knew what was coming, but I still want to know his reasoning. So, I ask him why. His response was, "We just want to go in a different direction". To which I say, "So, this documentation and all of this proof about how I actually do I good job doesn't matter. You aren't even going to look at it?" He says no that the choice has already been made. But, as a favor he is letting me resign so that it looks better for me.
So, I do resign. I quit a job that I love and that I am amazing at and for what? Do you want to know why? Because I actually do know why even though he wouldn't tell me. I was FORCED to quit a job that I love because my school needed a basketball coach and the guy that they wanted needed a teaching position. And he teaches what I do. So, the "different direction" they decided to go in was to choose athletics over education and to do it in a very dirty way.
I'm not surprised that they wanted to fire me to get a coach. That happens all of the time in small town America where sports shut down the entire town on a Friday night, but its how it was done that pisses me off so much. The PIP and the bad observations were lies and they could follow me for the rest of my career. That is horrible. Thankfully, I do live in a small town and I was good at what I do because I know that the people who know me will back me up as I begin to look for a new position, but it takes a really horrible person to potentially ruin someone's life in order to get a basketball coach and that's the Decent Truth. I am just glad that my kids, their parents, and my fellow teachers still love and respect me because that means the world to me.
Thursday, July 27, 2017
Why the Truth?
I'm starting this blog because a lot is happening in the world, in the country, and (most importantly to me) in my life. Some of it I support and believe in, but a lot of it is unjust, unethical, and indecent. So, it is because of this that I choose to write. I want the truth to be told, not hidden away to be brood upon until it festers and erupts. So, this is the Decent Truth (at least according to me) and I'm telling it plain, simple, and raw.
For my whole life, I have prided myself on not giving a damn about what other people thought about me. And, that is who I am, but I also don't voice my opinions very often because I've always been afraid of stepping on toes or hurting someone's feelings. So, at least here, I'm choosing not to do that anymore. I going to say what I think and maybe someone will read it and maybe no one will, but at least I will have peace knowing that what I say means something to me (if no one else).
I'm willing to bet that a lot of times when I am writing; I will be pissed off, but that's part of who I am. I'm passionate about many things and I have thousands of opinions. So, here is my voice. Hear it openly and digest it before judging it. Feel free to comment or ask questions. However, don't be surprised if you don't like my answers. I'll be honest and all I ask is that you be respectful and that's The Decent Truth.
For my whole life, I have prided myself on not giving a damn about what other people thought about me. And, that is who I am, but I also don't voice my opinions very often because I've always been afraid of stepping on toes or hurting someone's feelings. So, at least here, I'm choosing not to do that anymore. I going to say what I think and maybe someone will read it and maybe no one will, but at least I will have peace knowing that what I say means something to me (if no one else).
I'm willing to bet that a lot of times when I am writing; I will be pissed off, but that's part of who I am. I'm passionate about many things and I have thousands of opinions. So, here is my voice. Hear it openly and digest it before judging it. Feel free to comment or ask questions. However, don't be surprised if you don't like my answers. I'll be honest and all I ask is that you be respectful and that's The Decent Truth.
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